My Mum Continues to Inspire Me!

My Mum and I were both driving down a quiet, tree-and-field-lined road, in opposite directions. There was no other traffic.

Mum was driving one of our family’s all-time favorite cars – a 1967 Pontiac Catalina – white with almost-aqua-blue interior, only in the dream, she was driving a convertible (and our family car had been a hardtop). I know this photo is not the correct color (and it’s a convertible!) – but it’s close enough to give you an idea of the classic lines and glorious nature of this car.

She looked like she’d looked when I took this photo of her when she was aged 42-ish - healthy, happy, and relaxed - back when I was an aspiring photographer in J-school in 1974.

Our eyes met and it was as if there was a sudden “window” between the present and the hereafter.

We both stopped our vehicles, and I stepped out of mine (which I think might have been my pickup truck, but that’s another story).

I went to her and hugged her, and told her how much I missed her. And I apologized for saying ugly things about her – both while she was alive, and ever since.

She received my loving advances, but she seemed somehow unbothered and of another world. Nowhere as emotional as ME, and somewhat distanced about it all – but not in a bad way. She simply received my love with no attachment.

I went on to push her, asking “Have you seen all the amazing things I’m doing in the aging and longevity space?” She seemed not aware, but there was only pure love in her eyes.

The dream ended.

ANALYZE THAT!

My take on it is that she really IS in a better, good place – driving a car we loved, looking healthy, and feeling emotionally happy and content, even peaceful. Definitely unattached from the pressures of this world that I know drained her and pushed her into behaviors that I now know were protective and defensive, stunting her creative juices.

And also, importantly, that I am forgiven. For everything and anything I might have burdened myself with in relation to our life together.

I’m also touched by the ideas of:

• taking care of ourselves and eliminating stressful situations as we age
• how most things really don’t matter anywhere near as much as we think they do, and
• the importance of living every day - indeed, every moment - with intention and love and grace.

I remember one time when Mum and I were fighting (and there were MANY such fisticuffs over the years), and my Mum said she just wanted me to respect her. And now guess what? I do.